book 24: Through the Narrow Gate: A Memoir of Spiritual Discovery by Karen Armstrong

I first discovered Karen Armstrong when I was working at the bookstore at O'Hare, of course we carried her very popular book A History of God which is how I first heard of her. I didn't read it until a few years later, when I was living in Nashville in '13, and the at the time it impress me so much that I want to read her memoir. Notice that I own the two parts of her memoir and not that book - I revisited it years later and found I had gleaned all that I could from that book, I do still recommend it as introductory material. 

I read this when I was grappling with my relationship with religion, specifically the Catholic Church. I was dealing with PTSD symptoms and struggling with going back to Mass, realizing that so much of what was pulling me back was specific to the Midwest and couldn't be found in central Tennessee. This first section of her memoir deals with her time in a very strict convent immediately before the changes of Vatican II were implemented, and her difficult dispensation. When I first read it, life in her convent didn't seem that difficult to me! It was very similar to my own upbringing, although with much more food, so the constant insults, shame, and psychological torture she describes didn't strike me as odd or extreme. But I related to her love of literature as an escape, the escape which finally allowed her to leave and shakily make her own self.

Rereading it now, I can see both my younger self and Armstrong in these pages. She articulates the resentment that motivated the abusive nuns, which I wasn't able to fully understand at the time just as she wasn't able to until she had left, grown, and healed. When I first read this book, I immediately read the second part of her memoir afterwards - that was published in 2004, and right now I'm frustrated that I have dozens of books to go before I get there. But I think it's important to experience that book in this chronological order, so I'm sticking with it! 

Earlier this year, before I started this project, I read Kicking The Habit by Jeanne Cordova, A memoir of an American nun who entered a convent in Los Angeles at the same time as Armstrong. Cordova also discerned out while pursuing a degree and grappled with the changes of Vatican II. The main difference between their experiences was that Armstrong's convent resisted change, abusing until they were forced to change, while Cordova's became the wonderfully independent Immaculate Heart of Mary community. This distinction I find fascinating and hope to uncover more insights as I continue to read my library. 


https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/136846.Through_the_Narrow_Gate  

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